Using Everything DiSC Workplace with your family

Using Everything DiSC Workplace with your family

Senior adults talking with their adult children. Everyone in our office has had their spouse and older children take Everything DiSC Workplace. Why?

Sure, it’s fun, but it also helps us be more understanding and it can stimulate some great conversations. Everything DiSC is about building better relationships and while the setting of home isn’t the same as the workplace, there are similarities. You socialize, you work together, you make big decisions, you try to persuade and motivate others in your family. It’s good to be aware that how you relate to one another is influenced by more than just your personality style, but style is part of it.

Let me share a personal example. I don’t know my sister’s style, but tried to people-read her to come up with ways to be supportive around her husband’s sudden death. Of course, I asked her directly, but I also came up with a few ideas after postulating that she’s higher in the D style than I am. I knew that I’d want to talk a lot if I were in her shoes. But I knew that she would be focused on getting work done at her home and feel supported by her family helping out. So I weeded and painted and did her dishes. Knowing that our styles differed helped me understand that this was not the time to follow the Golden Rule.

Another example comes from an office discussion about how our DiSC styles influence vacation planning. We talked about what we do the weeks and days before a trip. Shelly and I were mentioning the same things even though we aren’t the same style. She remarked that even though her Di style doesn’t typically spend time and energy on detailed plans, she does all the vacation planning. She pays attention to flight details and other specifics even though she’d prefer not to (although she does like to be in control.) Within our families we all have to flex into other styles and behave in ways that can take more energy. All the styles are necessary at home, just as they are at work.

Who can take the assessment?

You can offer the assessment to anyone in your family, but you should be aware of a few facts. The reading level is accessible for a range of ages, getting a grade level score of around the 5 th grade. There’s no time limit for completing the questionnaire. The profile was validated only on adults over the age of 18 and some questions might be difficult to answer for those younger simply because of a lack of maturity and self-awareness. We recommend investing in the assessment only for adults.

We have our profiles. Now what?

Here are some suggestions on how you could structure time together to look at your profiles.

motivate-stressSharing activities

  • Read through pages 1 – 5 of your profile. On page 4 (your dot tells a story), put a check mark next to statements you totally agree with, cross out those you don’t, and put a question mark next to ones you’re not sure about.
    • Share your checked statements. You and your family can offer examples where you’ve displayed this type of behavior.
    • Share your crossed-out statements and the ones you’ve put a question mark next to.Ask for feedback. Do others think those statements are accurate? Might they be true at work, but not at home?
    • On page 5 (your shading expands the story), discuss your priorities and how those priorities affect the family – both positively and negatively. This is also where you may want to point out that each of us is a blend of all types even if we’re strongly inclined to one style and to give examples of where you flex to other styles depending on the needs of the family.
  • Share something from these pages that you’d really like others in your family to understand are true about you. Talk about why it’s important that they understand this part of you.
  • Read page 6 (your motivators and stressors) and share your stressors. What can your family do to help you with these sources of stress? At this time, do you want to increase your ability to deal with these stressors or to avoid them?
  • Look over pages 8 – 15 (understanding how you react to the D,i,S, C style, strategies to increase your effectiveness with the D,i,S,C style.) Pay particular attention to the pages related to one family member’s style. Share statements that you think show ways you could communicate better.

Additional tools

MyEverythingDiSCYou can also see one-to- one comparison reports for each member of your family who has taken Everything DiSC Workplace. (Contact us at orders@discprofile.com for access to MyEverythingDiSC to see comparison reports once everyone has taken the profile.) Comparison reports provide tips to each person to help improve communication with the other family member.

Discussion questions

As a family

  • Do you think your family has a style of its own? What style(s) and priorities get the most recognition and support in your family? (Example: If most family members have a lot of the i-style in them, your family probably rewards showing a lot of energy and emotion. Your CS-style child might feel overwhelmed by all the enthusiasm.)
  • Did your family score low in one of the DiSC quadrants? (Example: Let’s say no one has much shading in the C area. Does one person usually have to take on the role of analysis and data-gathering? Should others help out? Are you making poor financial decisions because no one is picking up that role?)
  • If you’re avoiding a chore or activity, how could family members help you get it done? In other words, how could they motivate you? (Example: You need a will and haven’t started working on it or finding a lawyer to help you. You want to make sure everyone’s wishes are considered and are feeling pressured to get this done quickly. The family might help by having discussions about simple parts of the will, like just reviewing beneficiaries on accounts. Or by sharing stories about personal items they’d like to inherit. Making it more of a family activity might make it seem less cold and calculating for you.)
  • Is there a priority or style you have that doesn’t feel valued by others in your family? Speak for why and when it’s important. (Maybe you’re very accommodating and modest and get criticized for not speaking up for yourself. Your style helps give the family a sense of stability and support. When Gramps had his bad fall, you were the one to ask the neighbors for assistance, made sure he got proper care, and notified all the family.)
  • Recall a big decision you recently made as a family. How did your styles influence how that decision was made. (Example: Let’s say you sold the family cabin. It was important to the i-styles to go and have one last gathering there. Perhaps the S-styles needed to say goodbye to the cabin, the neighbors there, and to share memories. The C-styles made sure you found a good realtor and priced it right. The D-styles just wanted to get it done and hire someone to take care of selling or moving household items there.)

strategies

One-on-one

  • How can I best show that I’m proud of you or really appreciate something you did?
  • If it’s obvious that we’re in conflict or something is just not right between us, how can I best bring that up with you?
  • When do you think our different priorities come into conflict? (When planning family  events, when budgeting, when someone’s sick, when we need to make a big purchase, when doing house work, etc.) How can knowing each other’s priorities and stressors help us?
  • How can I help you with the three strategies on page 16 of your profile report (increasing your effectiveness?) Are there other behaviors you’d rather be working on at home?

By doing Everything DiSC Workplace with your family you can foster awareness in styles to build family members’ self-confidence and raise self-awareness. Having open communication is important for any relationship, business and home.  Many of the same skills can be used in both home and work to promote good communication. DiSC won’t solve family communication issues by itself, but it can stimulate discussion. Sharing Everything DiSC Workplace with family members may be well worth your investment.

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